by Adrian Tullberg
Diana strummed her fingers around her glass of eggnog, glancing at the time.
Superhero Christmas parties were downbeat affairs at best, and this year's Watchtower Christmas bash was no exception.
The whole secret identity concept really limited the choice of any guests you could bring along, and the amount of alcohol stopped secrets from being secret for long - she could still remember Green Lantern's face when Eel, trying to impress one Lois Lane, blurted out Kyle's name.
It didn't help when Lois laughed it off, stating she knew already.
Not to mention there were the other parties you had to attend - family, friends, workplace ...
Diana took a fortifying gulp, thinking of the endless receptions she'd be attending until the 26th rolled up. Somehow, being able to fly convinced the collective government and diplomatic community that she'd be able to appear at literally everybody's buffet, soirée, banquet ...
... not to mention Trevor wanting to introduce her to his parents and immediate family ...
The Amazon scanned the room - Plastic Man had Jade and Lois in stitches with his Eminem impression, J'onn was deep in discussion with Nightwing ...
Diana remembered some gossip, something along the lines of Batman attempting to reach out more to his family. She set down her glass and turned towards where a light bulb had burnt out two days ago ...
... there was Batman himself, watching the room with his blank stare. An unopened Bud Light was lingering in his grasp.
She walked up to the Dark Knight, and positioned herself in front of him.
"This is not a garden."
Batman looked up, confused.
Diana gave him a brief grin. "No wallflowers. Can't avoid the party forever."
"This isn't avoiding the party."
An arced eyebrow. "Incredible impression."
"To be accurate, it's the minimum safe distance once Plastic Man has had at least three drinks."
Diana looked back at O'Brien, who was telling what seemed to be a particularly filthy joke to the visiting women while his hands were stretching further and further to respective erogenous zones. "Is that safe distance adjusted for gender?"
"I recommend Europe during Friday nights."
Diana lifted her chin, stretching out a sudden kink in her neck, when she saw it.
Mistletoe. Right above Batman's head.
A grin spread across her face, as she pointed to the sprig.
Batman looked up. The expression on his face stated his previous ignorance of what he'd been standing under for most of the party.
"Hoping to revive a Christmas tradition?"
He gave her one of his more severe glowers.
"You know, Kyle gets a little friendly after two more of those beers ..."
"That's 'Madame Ambassador' to you ..." Diana knew she shouldn't continue, but something was driving her onwards. She'd blame it on the drinks later. "...you know, if you're a bit shy, I could mention something to Clark..."
In the darker recesses of Batman's psyche, something snapped.
Before Diana could register, the Dark Knight was kissing her. And there was none of that awkward banging of teeth that occurred with the first few times with Trevor ... only pure passion.
As unexpected as the initial advance, he withdrew. Diana tried to bring her heart rate and respiration while assessing the situation.
To further exacerbate the situation, there was that nearly invisible superior smirk of his.
"Not bad, Bruce."
The hint of smirk disappeared immediately.
"Do you want me to give you a few pointers?"
Again, he made contact. This time the finesse was enhanced with a furious, focussed passion, accompanied by an embrace that was a razor's edge from the legal definition of assault.
While she was reeling, Batman broke the contact off, but trailed his lips across her face to her ear, and started whispering with that familiar rasp.
"If you ever rise above a six in technique ... I'll take you up on that offer, Princess ..."
Her half-lidded eyes snapped open. The day that someone with the blessing of Aphrodite needed lessons in sucking face ...
This time Batman was surprised, when Diana's tongue overpowered his and started an immediate campaign to conquer his teeth and lower tonsils.
"Just a six?"
That comment snapped him into realizing he was loosing the initiative. Batman grabbed her by the hips, drawing her against him. She immediately took him by the back of the neck, using her thumb to rub against the side of his face.
"Six and half ... for effort ..."
A glass shattered.
Bruce and Diana stopped, to see the entire JLA and other assorted heroes staring at the sight of Batman and Wonder Woman making out in the middle of a crowded party.
Wordlessly, in the dead silence of the room, Batman extracted his fingers from the Amazon costume, and Diana pushed her hair back into a presentable position. Making mumbled farewells, they quickly left the party. Separately.
Superman gave the eggnog a x-ray/microscopic combo, frowning when he saw nothing.
Eel snagged the mistletoe before anybody else had a chance ...
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This piece is © 2002 by Adrian Tullberg
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