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.when Batman's brought up on child endangerment charges
when Wonder
Woman misplaces her lasso at a jewelry show
when Lobo shows up on Earth and
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50 cents
December, 1999
All
the news that's fit to print and then pulp a mere 24 hours later.
| Old vs. Young Justice |
| Washington, DC -
A group of former super-hero sidekicks has announced in Congress
their opposition to the operation of the super-hero group
Young Justice.
The group, calling itself Old Justice, consists of super-heroes
who operated from the onset of World War II until 1951,
when super-heroic activity was squelched by the congressional
Un-American Affairs Committee. These young (with one exception)
sidekicks have testified before Congress that super-heroic
activity at a young age can cause psychological damage over
and above the obvious physical danger of battling super-villains.
Sponsoring the group's appearance in Congress was Senator
Neptune Perkins, himself a former super-hero, and a member
of the All-Star Squadron subgroup known as Young All-Stars.
Perkins, who was not the sidekick of any older super-hero,
declined to endorse Old Justice's agenda, instead issuing
a statement that he has not made up his mind on the issue,
but gave the group a voice as a favor to his former teammate,
Daniel Dunbar, once known as Dan the Dyna-Mite.
Dunbar was the sidekick of TNT, a mystery man who died
in 1943 and was posthumously awarded the Congressional Medal
of Honor by President Roosevelt. He spoke to Congress of
the pain that an adolescent experiences when witnessing
the death or injury of a beloved mentor. Also speaking to
that particular concern were two men who identified themselves
as the Cyclones, formerly "the Cyclone Kids", sidekicks
to the little-known wartime Red Tornado. The Tornado, since
revealed to the world as Mathilda Hunkel, was viciously
attacked by an admirer after her retirement from super-heroism.
Other members of the group include "Sweep" Seconds, one
of a group of Hourman sidekicks, Merry, Girl of 1000 Gimmicks,
who was previously believed dead, and Doiby Dickles, who
was already an adult when he acted as sidekick to Green
Lantern.
Comments from the super-hero world were not supportive
of the group. Sanderson Hawkins of the newly-re-formed Justice
Society of America,
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formerly Sandy the Golden Boy
and now known simply as Sand, said, "Working with Wesley [Dodds,
the late original Sandman] was an experience I would not have
traded for anything. It was instructive in the potentials
of human kindness and achievement. I've certainly suffered
for my role as a super-hero, but I do not for a minute regret
being placed in a position where I could save people's lives
on a regular basis."
Sand added, "If I truly believed that teenaged super-heroism
is harmful, I and the rest of the JSA would not have allowed
the new Star-Spangled Kid to join our team."
Roy Harper (formerly Green Arrow's sidekick Speedy, now
Arsenal), speaking for the Titans, was a little more mixed,
but confirmed the super-heroic community's support for allowing
youngsters to operate amongst them. "Adult super-heroes
feel responsibility for every living being, and especially
for their own sidekicks," he said. "We of the Titans consider
ourselves lucky to have had such role models, who dedicated
themselves to serving humanity with such complete selflessness."
When asked about his experiences with Green Arrow's abandonment
of him which had led him to seek comfort from illegal drugs,
he said, "Super-heroes make mistakes like ordinary people
do. You find me any group of one hundred non-super-heroic
parents without one that's messed up his child's life, and
then I'll consider that my situation is indicative of the
problems facing young super-heroes."
The Justice League, who sanctioned the Young Justice group,
could not be reached for comment. All attempts to contact
the Watchtower in the last two days have failed, presumably
due to conflicts of their own.
Most members of Congress have yet to declare how they
intend to vote on the issue of allowing teenage super-heroism.
More pressing on their agenda is the issue of Gotham City,
which might be re-annexed into the United States after a
year of being a No-Man's Land.
|
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| Super-Villains Beware
Keystone City - Police in Keystone
and Central Cities have announced that there appears to be
a serial assaulter on the loose, attacking super-villains,
especially those who have fought the Flash.
The assailant, whose true identity is unknown, has left
no fingerprints and few clues. He or she appears to tke
an interest in the villains' weapons, and indeed, has only
attacked villains whose powers are based on devices and
are not innate. However, the assailant does not actually
steal the weapons, rather, he picks them up briefly to examine
them and then discards them. Investigators are considering
the possibility that the assailant is able to replicate
the weapons in his mind for later assembly and use.
The first villain apparently attacked had been Captain
Boomerang. Others who have been attacked and their weapons
handled include Black Rock, Mirror Master, Matter Master,
Weather Wizard, Doctor Alchemy and Captain Cold.
Police say that the Flash has been alerted to the possibility
that a villain replicating the abilities of all these and
more might be gunning for him. Flash, according to them,
had responded with an offer to routinely patrol well-known
super-villain hideouts to be on the lookout for more violence.
Flash, despite the fact that he seems less friendly than
the vanished Wally West, has maintained an excellent relationship
with Keystone City's and Central City's police departments.
He is rumored to be involved in a romantic relationship
with a forensic scientist working for the Central City Police.
Despite this, little more has been learned about this mysterious
stranger who appeared suddenly following West's disappearance.
Former villains who live in the area have been notified
to beware of the assailant as well. He has been described
as apparently male, over 6 1/2 feet tall, always wearing
a trenchcoat and hat, with no other distinguishing features.
Anyone who sees this individual should consider him extremely
dangerous and immediately notify their local police department.
|
Local Family saved by Hawaiian Hero
Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, HI -
A local family had their lives saved by the stretchable
new Hawaiian hero Kana. The Kellers, a family of five, visited
Hawaii last month and, while attempting to get a good look
at the lava flow from Kilauea Volcano, slipped and fell
into a newly-opened crack in the lava-covered Earth. Kana,
who says that Superboy inspired him to use his powers in
public, says he was lucky to have been on the big island
of Hawaii that day.
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TODAY IN
DCU DIGEST:D
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NATION:
Government raises concerns about Y2K readiness of DEO
supercomputers
WORLD:
Despite recent increase in peace treaties signed, belligerent
talk mysteriously increases
BUSINESS
Lexcorp could be big winner if Gotham is re-annexed
by the U. S.
SPORTS
Metropolis teams accused of unfairly benefiting from
magical municipal improvements
TELEVISION
New show, "Who Wants to Visit the Moon?", wins November
sweeps
FILM
Can "Toy Story 2" make kids drop their Pokemons? |
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