Green Lantern: The Movie

Casting and plot by Michael Hutchison
Photomanipulations by Chad Sanborn

Hal Jordan Bruce Boxleitner (runner up: Matt LeBlanc)
This was a tough choice. One's on the verge of too old, one's a bit youngish. Boxleitner is currently one of the main characters on Babylon 5.
Tom "Pieface" Kalmaku Henry Cho
Okay, Tom Kalmaku's supposed to be an Innuit, but there aren't really any famous eskimo actors. Henry is an Asian-American actor with a strong Tennessee accent. He was a host of Friday Night Videos and recently he appeared in "McHale's Navy"
Sinestro Miguel Ferrer (runner up: Tom Hanks)
Miguel Ferrer can be seen on Al Franken's mediocre sitcom, "Lateline" (if it isn't already canceled). He was The Weatherman in the unreleased JLA movie, but his most famous role is as a sleaze in the movie "Robocop".
Hector Hammond Jon Lovitz
There is absolutely no one else who could pull off this role like Jon could. Envision him with that one eyebrow raised, bug-eyed, imperiously shouting, "YOU WILL OBEY ME!" as he used to when he played Satan on Saturday Night Live.
Carol Ferris Renee Zellweger in a brunette wig
Renee starred opposite Tom Cruise in "Jerry Maguire."
Guardian of the Universe #1 Wallace Shawn
The star of "My Dinner With Andre"…but you'll know him as the Sicilian guy in "Princess Bride" who shouted 'Inconceiveable' a lot.
Katma Tui Tia Carrera
Wayne Campbell's main squeeze on "Wayne's World."
Abin Sur Ben Stein
"Bueller…Bueller…Bueller…?" I don't know if Ben's truly right for the role, but his voice is. Considering the wounded Abin would be communicating by telepathy, he could just do the voice.
Tomar Re Kevin Pollack (animatronic head)
His biggest role may be as a lawyer on "a Few Good Men". Not Tom Cruise. No, not Demi Moore. The other one.
The Honor Guard
Ch'p of H'lven animatronic, voice of June Foray
Otherwise known as the voice of Rocky the Squirrel and Witch Hazel, June is still around, still doing voice work.
Salaak animatronic, voice of Vincent Schiavelli
The dizzy, heavy-lidded actor who played the Subway Ghost in "Ghost," he has a fantastic voice.
Kilowog of Bolovax Vik animatronic, voice of Frank Welker
Frank is the pre-eminent voice artist in Hollywood today, currently voicing "Godzilla." But a lot of our readers might remember when Frank voiced Darkseid on the old "Super Powers" cartoon.
Xax of Xaos animatronic, voice of Maurice LaMarche
Maurice is the voice of the Brain on "Pinky and the Brain."
Arisia of Graxos Christina Ricci in a blonde wig
Ricci played Wednesday on the "addams Family," but she's now around 18.
Fan-boy bit parts:
Guy Gardner Joe Piscopo
I rarely say I'm brilliant. But this one struck me like an epiphany. There's no actor more suited for the role. I wish he had more than just the briefest cameo in the movie.
The Tattooed Man Paul Hogan
A chance to get away from Sport Utility Vehicle ads.

The Story:

Bruce Boxleitner as Green Lantern Abin Sur rests in his sleep chamber aboard his long-range travel ship when he receives an alert from the Guardians of the Universe. One of the inhabited planets in his sector is threatened with annihilation from a large chunk of irradiated space matter. Abin sets the new course into his ship and races to investigate.

At Ferris Aircraft on Earth, Hal Jordan lands a jet and gives Tom Kalmaku the computer read-outs for use in their new training simulator project. Carol Ferris approaches, looking miserable due to a visit by their new owner, the smarmy, money-squeezing venture capitalist, Hector Hammond. Hector indicates to Carol that the simulator project will be abandoned unless it can be ready to go and produce some dividends within a month; he also makes several advances towards Carol.

Abin's ship enters our solar system, where a large, irradiated comet is due to strike the Earth within the day. Due to the high sulphuric makeup of the cloud, his ring doesn't have any effect on it. He tries using nearby meteors to grip the comet or smash it off-course, but he cannot alter its trajectory enough. Running out of options, Abin gets back in his ship and uses his ring to enhance the shields as he rams the comet, smashing it to pieces…most of which will miss Earth or burn up in the atmosphere. Abin's damaged ship enters Earth's gravity. Abin, ill from the high radiation and the jolt, tries to send a signal to Tomar Re, the nearest Green Lantern, but loses consciousness.

Carol Ferris Hammond is driving to his new home when a meteorite lands in the hill near the highway. He parks his car and goes to examine the rock. Hearing other people coming, he scoops up the meteorite and tosses it in the trunk of his car, planning to find a way to make money off of it later. His trunk is crowded with moving boxes and a few plants.

Hal and Tom discuss their need to work extra-hard to finish the simulator before they lose their funding and maybe even their jobs. Tom asks about Hal's relationship with Carol, but Hal is unwilling to discuss her.

In the desert, Abin wakes to find his body dying of radiation and physical injuries. He commands the ring to sweep the planet to find someone brave, honest and decent. Finding several, including a gym coach in Baltimore and a test pilot in California, he instructs the ring to choose the nearest and bring it to him.

We see Hal flying exactly as before, almost as if the scene were repeated…but the camera pulls back to show that he's now testing the new flight simulator. There's a brief green flash…when Hal recovers, he is again flying over terrain. After a moment, he realizes that the G-forces are too realistic and that he's actually flying. Suddenly, green holograms flash before his eyes, showing the Green Lantern ring, the battery, the Corps, the Guardians and numerous other images….but all too fast for him to comprehend. The simulator lands beside a wrecked spaceship, and he enters to find a dying red alien. Abin gives him the ring and some brief instructions before dying.

Hal decides to see if the ring is truly as powerful as he was told. He lifts a nearby mountain and shoves the spaceship underneath, then carves a small tombstone atop it. Grabbing the simulator, he flies back to Ferris Aircraft.

Hammond unpacks the meteorite, plant and boxes and sets them all on his countertop. He notices that his strawberry plant is sprouting a few new, odd-colored buds. He goes to bed.

Hal returns the simulator, hooks it up and explains to Tom what happened to him.

Jon Lovitz as Hector Hammond The next day, Hammond awakes to find that his strawberry plant is sprouting multi-colored, cubical fruits. He takes Polaroids of the plant and the meteorite, calls in sick and drives to a nearby university. First he tries to sell the meteorite, but finds that he's not going to become filthy rich trying to sell it to a financially-strapped college. Next, consulting a horticulturalist, he shows the pictures of his plants and is told that they must be hoaxes because the plants don't look like anything that will be seen on Earth for another 10,000 years. Enthused by this, he then visits Professor Adam Blake, an expert in evolution, who tells him that there is no set future for any species but that the logical evolutionary step for humanity will focus more on increased brainpower and less on physical abilities.

Hal becomes Green Lantern and prevents a multi-car collision and saves an actor's mountainside home from collapsing, thus learning a few of his capabilities. Hal wants to experiment more with his powers, but Tom is angered that Hal may neglect his work and endanger both of their futures. Hal agrees to just set the ring aside for several days.

Hammond, gleefull about his amazing find, gets drunk. Stumbling home, he lies on the couch with his head near the meteorite and dreams of the possibilities. He imagines himself winning Jeopardy, impressing Carol Ferris with his intellect, developing a thinner physique, becoming president of the company, becoming president of the USA, ending all of the world's problems and getting the Nobel prize.

He awakens a day later with a brain the size of a prize-winning watermelon! He rises to his feet with difficulty and begins using telekinesis and telepathy. His elation is disrupted when he loses his balance and goes crashing to the floor. He climbs into his La-Z-Boy and contemplates what to do next, as his body becomes more and more useless.

Hal and Tom are hard at work on their project when a rather strange man walks into their bay. He appears to be very handsome, dressed impeccably in a business suit…but there's just something odd about him. He has a slight, unplaceable accent, difficulty with slang and an uneasy walk. After asking Hal for a moment alone, his face transforms into a large orange head with four-inch eyes, a beak and a fin. He explains that he's Tomar-Re, the Green Lantern of a neighboring sector and once the best friend of Abin Sur.

Meanwhile, Hector Hammond is experimenting with his telepathic powers. He's surprised that his huge brain hasn't given him super intelligence; he suddenly realizes that his IQ may be super but he still has to read to accumulate knowledge! As he levitates various objects and assumes control of the pizza delivery boy who visits his house, he ponders how to make money with his abilities. He comes up with an idea.

Tomar-Re and Hal begin discussing numerous subjects when Tom's radio picks up a police report that the bank robbers have struck. Tomar-Re and Hal fly off to stop the crime, although Tomar wants to observe Hal's abilities without interfering. The bank robbers are fleeing through a construction area, where his ring's peculiar inability to affect anything yellow trips Hal up several times. Injured in the fight, GL gets angry and threatens to kill one of them, but his ring says that it cannot kill a sentient being.

As a woman is walking down the street, a big-headed fat man in a levitating lazyboy races by and snatches her purse using telekinesis. She holds onto the strap and puts up a struggle. She begins slapping Hammond and, his concentration broken, he tips over. Time for Plan B.

Green Lantern is delivering the bank robbers to the police and introducing himself to the public when the police hear of a robbery at the diamond exchange. As Hal flies off, Tomar joins him and points out his various mistakes.

At the diamond exchange, Hammond is keeping himself erect via telekinesis (hoping that this will be more intimidating) but his concentration seems to break too easily and his instability makes him laughable. Green Lantern arrives and attempts to capture Hammond, who is entranced by the power of the mentally-controlled ring and tries to assume control of Hal's body. Tomar intervenes but isn't able to stop Hammond from escaping.

Tomar decides that Hal needs proper training. Hal assures Tomar that he can take care of himself, as it's not like strange things happen every day. Tomar leaves for Oa; GL immediately encounters a sailor man who presses his tattoos to make them come alive and hurt people.

A few days later, Green Lantern is cruising through space and having fun with his new powers for the first time when a snooty, disapproving voice brings him out of his reveries. Sinestro, Green Lantern of Korugar, has been appointed to train Hal in the proper ways to behave as a GL.

Sinestro Sinestro guides Hal through numerous tests and initiations. He shows Hal how to open dimensional warps to other planets, cautioning him to maintain ring control, lest he be trapped in another dimension with no clue how to get back. Through it all, Sinestro voices his contempt for the traffic, the crime rate, the pollution, the noise, the bad commercials at 2 AM on cable, the behavior of guests on the Jerry Springer show and the many other signs of rampant disorder on Earth. Hal hears some of Sinestro's suggestions for ways he would run Earth if it was in his sector, and they sound rather fascistic to Hal.

The two GLs encounter Hector Hammond, who has seized mental control of all the brokers on Wall Street in New York in an attempt to get rich. Hal and Hector have another battle of will against will, but this time Sinestro intervenes and proves more than capable of disabling the mutant man. Sinestro announces that he's sentencing Hammond to death, but Hal stops him, shocked that the Green Lantern rings can even be used to commit murder. Sinestro explains that Hal's ring reset to "trainee" failsafe mode when he put it on. Frustrated, Hal demands to see what Sinestro means by "true order."

The pair leave the comatose Hammond in the hands of police and open a spacewarp to Korugar, where Hal is shocked to see that Sinestro is the dictator of the planet. Korugar looks like a scene from "Triumph Of The Will", with huge GL-symbol banners everywhere. Sinestro stands on the parapets of his palace and points out signs of his "order." However, one of his serving maids (Katma Tui) tries to stab him with a golden knife, and many of the staff join her in rebellion. Enraged, Sinestro begins destroying entire city blocks as a warning to them all. Hal, who shielded Katma from certain death, fights Sinestro and protects the citizenry. Clobbering Sinestro using a trick which Sinestro himself used, Hal uses his ring to contact Tomar-Re and demands to see the people running the GL organization.

Hal and Tomar open a spacewarp and haul the unconscious Sinestro to the ancient planet Oa, home to the Guardians of the Universe. Hal is presented as the successor to Abin Sur. When the Guardians bid him welcome, Hal throws his ring to the floor and defies them, saying he'll never participate in their cruel, fascistic regime. The Guardians are confused by his actions; looking at Korugar for the first time in many years, they are surprised to see that one of their best and brightest has been grinding his people beneath a green boot. They issue orders for Sinestro to be taken into custody by the Green Lantern Honor Guard. Sinestro openly rebels and throws a tantrum, but one of the Honor Guard (Kilowog) wears a special yellow ring as a counter-agent against the regular rings. Sinestro is once again apprehended, his ring is taken away, and the honor guard is ordered to transport Sinestro to the prison world of Takron-Galtos.

Tia Carrera as Katma Tui A Guardian picks up Hal's ring and explains to him that he is mistaken in his impressions. Hal is given a guided tour of Oa, where he sees hundreds of the GLs charging their rings at the great battery and the Great Book which tells the history of the formation of the Green Lanterns. When the Guardians raise the question of Sinestro's replacement, Hal recommends Katma Tui.

Sinestro taunts his captors as they drag him in a green bubble through an asteroid field. Sinestro produces a small laser cutter and fires its yellow beam through the wall of the bubble, severing Kilowog's yellow-ring-bearing arm. Salaak, Arisia and Ch'p, surprised that a GL would have even carried another weapon, are caught off guard. Sinestro is sucked through the tear in the bubble and connects with Kilowog's yellow ring before the explosive decompression can kill him. Armed with the yellow ring, Sinestro kills Xax and wrestles with the mortally wounded Kilowog (who still wields an emerald ring). Besting Kilowog, Sinestro begins a game of cat and mouse among the asteroids with the remaining GLs, killing them one by one. Arisia finally gets a message off to the Guardians before Sinestro kills her, too.

Hal and Katma are receiving their rings in a proper ceremony, promising to be loyal servants to the ideals of the Corps, when they receive Arisia's message. The assembled Corps (about 50 GLs) are ordered to help defend Korugar from Sinestro, who will doubtless try to re-establish his rule there. The GLs spend three days patrolling Korugar, with no sign of him. Hal does have doubts that Sinestro would go somewhere so obvious; it suddenly occurs to him that Sinestro, anal-retentive as he is, was chomping at the bit to impose some order on Earth. When the Guardians disagree with Hal's analysis, Hal leaves anyway. The Guardians warn him that they will give him no assistance until he behaves properly.

On Earth, Hal finds that Sinestro has established himself in Coast City, where he's rapidly constructed a monstrous device in the center of the city. Knowing he can't rule on Earth with impunity from the Guardians, he plans to move the western seaboard into another dimension where he'll rule absolutely. After a running battle amidst the spires, pipes and transmitting towers of the machine, Green Lantern succeeds in damaging the device. Enraged, Sinestro chases Hal throughout the solar system. The two men race through the chromosphere of the sun, hurling asteroids at each other as they pass through the belt and trade blows in the deep mists of Jupiter. Realizing that they're evenly matched, Hal opens a spacewarp to Oa to get help. Sinestro follows him in at tremendous speed. Hiding just inside the entrance to the swirling warp hole, Hal flies back out and disrupts the warp so that it collapses. Sinestro races back for the entrance but is trapped inside forever, as his ring's different properties cannot keep the green-ringed warp open.

The Guardians forgive Hal for his disobedience. Tomar-Re cautions Hal that that is as close to an apology as anyone ever gets from the Guardians. Hal returns to Earth, hoping that his absence hasn't totally destroyed his life.

Carol Ferris (who behaves rather oddly) tells Hal that he's fired, despite Tom's trying to cover for him. She also announces that she's no longer dating him, as she's agreed to become the love slave of the dashing stud Hector Hammond. Hal, upon hearing the name of the new owner for the first time, immediately realizes that the hunky figure is an illusion. He uses his ring to dispel the illusion, revealing Hector in his floating chair, his body now totally useless. Hal quickly conks him out and frees Carol…so quickly that he forgets he's not dressed as Green Lantern.

Hal reveals his identity to Carol, who vows to keep his identity secret. Green Lantern charges his ring and repeats his oath. Fade out.

[NOTE: The plot's not perfect…but producer Jon Peters doesn't care as long as he can market some action figures!]